Self-taught artist, writer and musician, Carol Es is
known primarily for creating personal narratives within a wide spectrum of
media. A native Los Angelina, she often uses past experience as fuel for her
subject matter. Writing on art, her articles have appeared in Huffington
Post, Whitehot Magazine, and Coagula Art
Journal; her prose published with small presses — Bottle
of Smoke Press, Islands Fold, and Chance
Press among them. Additionally, she makes handmade Artist’s books
which have been acquired for such collections as the Getty and the National
Museum of Women in the Arts.
Carol is a two-time recipient of the ARC Grant from the
Durfee Foundation, the Pollock-Krasner, and a Wynn Newhouse Award for her art.
She’s also earned grants from Asylum Arts and the National Arts and Disability
Center/California Arts Council for writing. In 2019, she won the Bruce Geller
Memorial Prize (WORD Grant) from the American Jewish University.
Blog: www.esart.com/blog
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/esart
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carolesart
Shrapnel
in the San Fernando Valley is a guided tour through a Tilt-A-Whirl life
that takes so many turns that you may find yourself looking up from the pages
and wondering how the hell one person
managed to fit them all into 40-odd years. And many of them are odd years indeed. From a rootless, abusive childhood and mental illness through serious and successful careers in music and art, much of which were achieved while being involved in a notoriously destructive mind-control cult. Carol Es presents her story straight up. No padding, no parachute, no dancing around the hard stuff. Through the darkness, she somehow finds a glimmer of light by looking the big bad wolf straight in the eye, and it is liberating. When you dare to deal with truth, you are free. Free to find the humor that is just underneath everything and the joy that comes with taking the bumpy ride.
managed to fit them all into 40-odd years. And many of them are odd years indeed. From a rootless, abusive childhood and mental illness through serious and successful careers in music and art, much of which were achieved while being involved in a notoriously destructive mind-control cult. Carol Es presents her story straight up. No padding, no parachute, no dancing around the hard stuff. Through the darkness, she somehow finds a glimmer of light by looking the big bad wolf straight in the eye, and it is liberating. When you dare to deal with truth, you are free. Free to find the humor that is just underneath everything and the joy that comes with taking the bumpy ride.
Illustrated
with original sketches throughout, Shrapnel
in the San Fernando Valley is not just another survivor's tale, it’s a
creative perspective through moments of vulnerability where the most raw and
intimate revelations are laid bare. As an artist and a woman finding
self-worth, it’s truly a courageous, relatable story that will keep you
engaged to the very end.
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Thank you for this interview! I’d
like to know more about you as a person first.
What do you do when you’re not writing?
Thanks for the opportunity! I am very glad to have your interest. When
I’m not writing, I am making art: esart.com
When did you start writing?
When I was very young. I wrote (what I thought) were poems. I started
writing short stories by the time I was 14 or 15.
As a published author, what would you say was the most pivotal point of
your writing life?
When I was working with real professionals (editors and such) and later
receiving various types of rejection, I began to crumble. It didn’t matter if
the rejection had nothing to do with my writing. I also got what seemed like
1000 outside opinions from “experts.” But only a fraction of their advice was
actually useful. I had to fall to the absolute bottom of self-doubt before I
had no other choice than to trust my own instincts. I seemed to rise from the
gutter then and start listening to the writing voice I’d heard inside me all
along. It got easier.
If you could go anywhere in the world to start writing your next book,
where would that be and why?
Preferably somewhere in the High Deserts of California, like Joshua
Tree. I’ve always had the most success writing out there because I love the
climate and the deafening silence. All you can hear are the birds and the wind.
I write and nap and definitely leave all the worries from home behind. It feels
like home for my soul or something like that.
If you had 4 hours of extra time today, what would you do?
Lay down with my dog and tell her jokes until we fell asleep.
Where would you like to set a story that you haven’t done yet?
New York or Italy.
Back to your present book, Shrapnel in the San Fernando Valley,
how did you publish it?
After making a valiant attempt at trying to find a fancy NY agent and
getting nowhere, I finally decided to create my own independent press. I
already operate one for my own Artist’s book (Careless Press), which consist of
handmade editions—and though this endeavor is not the same, I felt if I studied
up on publishing commercial books enough, maybe I could pull it together. So
it’s a hybrid publication because I’m in a partnership with an independent
press and use IngramSpark distribution.
In writing your book, did you travel anywhere for research?
I did, but those parts of my story did not end up in the finial version
of my book. I went to Chicago to help my backstory regarding my mom. Earlier
versions had many chapters dedicated to my parents’ stories growing up, and
even their families before them. All that got edited out.
Why was writing Shrapnel in the San Fernando Valley so important
to you?
That’s an interesting question with a multi-prong answer, but I’ll try
to keep it simple. While I wasn’t always sure I was going to publish this book,
writing it was important for me as a form of catharticism. I needed to know
what happened in my life if only as facts. Once I got the information down, I
needed to evaluate my true connection to the scenes. That was perhaps the
hardest part of the process—facing the ugliest moment of my part. And in order
to make the book look interesting and not just a confession, I felt the need to
share my present perspective and what I learned from it (if anything). Either
way, I wanted to be honest and hoped someone out there would be able to relate.
I knew I was putting out a vulnerable book, but I knew I’d feel free in the end
to speak out for people like me.
Where do you get your best ideas and why do you think that is?
I get my ideas from real life. Even my fiction comes from real life.
There’s nothing more absurd.
Any final words?
Keep going if you’re able. Even if you’re not, go through the motions
anyway. Keep pushing and pushing along as a robot would until your great
epiphany comes. Who knows? Maybe along the way, the pushy robot produces
something brilliant while you weren’t even looking.
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